Welcome to my home, come on in, close the door...don't worry about taking shoes off - I don't care anymore. Mind that pile of boxes by the cloakroom, if you need the loo you'll have to go upstairs...just ignore the mess and piles of washing up there won't you.
Come into the lounge and take a seat...oh sorry you can't...more boxes to navigate around. Oh excuse me there's the doorbell, oh hello Mr delivery man, weren't you here just this morning? Oh deep joy something else in a cardboard box to sign for...just dump it there, i'll find somewhere to park it later.
Let's go in the kitchen...Cup of tea? There are clean cups in the dishwasher somewhere, just haven't emptied it yet. Oh sorry no tea bags left. Orange or lemon squash suit you? Diet Coke? We never run out of that. Oh here's a jar of coffee at the back of the cupboard, but hey the milk's off and for some reason the milkman hasn't been today. Did I forget to pay the bill?
Take a seat, oops not THAT one, still haven't got round to clearing up after a scrambled egg breakfast. Yes, that WAS a slice of toast. Shall I take that and pop it in the bin?
DH? Oh he's been in India this past week or so, back Saturday evening. Yes, the packers do arrive next week. No, we're not ready. In fact they're very kindly bringing us some cardboard packing boxes this afternoon, oh really, you saw them? They've left them outside with some tape and tissue paper? Yes, it does look like rain again so i'd better get them in I suppose. Now where shall I put them?
The kids? Oh they're being neglected, watching TV and playing rockstars in the playroom...seeing how quickly they can trash a relatively tidy room, they're very good at that game, less than 5 minutes to total devastation is their record.
Yes, the garden is looking lovely and it will be such a shame to leave it behind but just watch out for all the boxes, please don't let the children attempt to climb the garden cardboard mountain.
Let me just get the phone. Arrghh, that was the estate agent, someone wants to view the house in two hours...help! Look at the mess and cardboard, I wouldn't want to buy or rent my house looking like this, it wouldn't look out of place under Waterloo Bridge.
OK deep breath, count to ten...I'm going on strike. Is there any wine in the fridge? There is...thank goodness for that!
1 comment:
This should be our post title too. We have been in our house 3 weeks and are still surrounded by boxes and with not a lot to drink! The devastation look is very much in force here in India.
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